{"id":1231,"date":"2013-08-08T13:36:42","date_gmt":"2013-08-08T20:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=1231"},"modified":"2013-08-08T13:36:42","modified_gmt":"2013-08-08T20:36:42","slug":"my-uber-christian-ex-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=1231","title":{"rendered":"My Uber Christian Ex-Boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\tWriting that post about how <a title=\"I\u2019m a Competitive Asshole\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2013\/07\/30\/im-a-competitive-asshole\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">I&#8217;m a competitive asshole<\/a> reminded me of my uber Christian ex-boyfriend. We dated on and off in the 8th and 9th grade for about a year, making him my longest relationship to date. But, don&#8217;t worry, it wasn&#8217;t that serious&#8230; sexually. In the year that we dated, we made out a total of three times. He was my first french kiss and it was just terrible. This is probably due to the fact that I&#8217;m <a title=\"Three Strikes and I\u2019m Out\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2013\/07\/09\/three-strikes-and-im-out\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">super gay<\/a>. Luckily for me, his mom didn&#8217;t want us to ever be alone together. I used that as a perfect excuse to never, ever be alone enough to have to kiss him.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/ew-rachel-bilson.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1232\" alt=\"ew gross\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/ew-rachel-bilson.gif?resize=500%2C281\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Point of the point, it was the 9th grade and I was supposedly &#8220;in love.&#8221; While I was at Christian Camp for a week during the summer, my uber Christian ex boyfriend sent me one letter for each day I was there. Letter number 3 was this:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Kimberly Anne Wetter,<\/p>\n<p>Why do I love you Kim? Ill tell you why, here is the entire list of what I love about you&#8230; hopefully I wont forget anything important hehe.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>I love the way you love me<\/li>\n<li>I love the way you smile<\/li>\n<li>I love the way you understand and listen to me when I talk about things that are important to me (usually hehe)<\/li>\n<li>I love the way you make me feel when I&#8217;m around you<\/li>\n<li>I love the way how you always want to be with me<\/li>\n<li>I love the way you forgive me when I screw up<\/li>\n<li>I love the way that you screw around and piss me off, cause then I don&#8217;t have to feel bad when I do it back \ud83d\ude42<\/li>\n<li>I love the way that you love god just as much as I do<\/li>\n<li>I love the way that we have so much in common<\/li>\n<li>I love playing games and sports with you (unless you get mad hehe)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Well there it is, most of the reasons why I love you, cause I&#8217;m most sure that I forgot some of them, or even better, cause I wouldn&#8217;t be able to fit all of them onto paper cause they on forever \ud83d\ude42<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/kristen-stewart-really.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1233\" alt=\"kristen stewart really\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/kristen-stewart-really.gif?resize=500%2C280\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>So there it is, in all of it&#8217;s glorious 9th grade perfection. First, my middle name is spelled Ann, without an &#8220;e.&#8221; Secondly, I was just reminded of the letter because number 10 is proof that not a whole lot has changed since the 9th grade. Thirdly, number 8 is proof that a whole lot has changed since 9th grade. Especially because there&#8217;s also a letter from this bunch called &#8220;Kim the Pure,&#8221; and given the <a title=\"My Top 5 Most Awkward Hookups \u2013 Part 1\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/09\/26\/my-top-5-most-awkward-hookups-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">many<\/a> <a title=\"My Top 5 Most Awkward Hookups \u2013 Part 2\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/09\/27\/my-top-5-most-awkward-hookups-part-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tantalizing<\/a> topics of <a title=\"Behold, the Tale of the Cougar\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/10\/25\/behold-the-tale-of-the-cougar\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this blog<\/a>, that&#8217;s changed <em>quite<\/em> a bit.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1259\" style=\"width: 614px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/high-school.jpg\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1259\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1259\" alt=\"My hair has also changed significantly \" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/high-school.jpg?resize=560%2C397\" width=\"560\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/high-school.jpg?w=604&amp;ssl=1 604w, https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/high-school.jpg?resize=300%2C213&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 560px) 100vw, 560px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-1259\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">My hair has also changed significantly<\/p><\/div>\n<p>His life, on the other hand, didn&#8217;t really change all that much. He started dating another very Christian girl right after we broke up around the 10th grade and he actually married her and they have a kid. I haven&#8217;t really talked to him since high school but I did know that they were waiting to have their first kiss (yeah, like ever) on their wedding day, which was only a couple years ago. For both their sakes, I really hope it was nothing like this:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Xp-jZyzQSms?rel=0\" height=\"315\" width=\"560\" allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Writing that post about how I&#8217;m a competitive asshole reminded me of my uber Christian ex-boyfriend. We dated on and off in the 8th and 9th grade for about a year, making him my longest relationship to date. But, don&#8217;t worry, it wasn&#8217;t that serious&#8230; sexually. In the year that we dated, we made out [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[64,94,102,171,213,293,354],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/high-school.jpg?fit=604%2C428&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1231"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1231\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}