{"id":1682,"date":"2018-12-27T09:00:09","date_gmt":"2018-12-27T17:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=1682"},"modified":"2018-12-27T09:00:09","modified_gmt":"2018-12-27T17:00:09","slug":"goodbye-virginity-hello-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=1682","title":{"rendered":"Goodbye Virginity, Hello World"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t\t\t\n

Let\u2019s get something straight right off the bat, I am very gay. However, the story I\u2019m about to tell is about a man. Well, he was a boy at the time. This boy, I’ll call him Carl for the sake of his privacy, was a part of that weirdly wonderful friend group<\/a> I was in. Although I spent much more time dating my uber Christian ex-boyfriend<\/a>, Carl takes the cake for being \u201cthat person\u201d in my adolescence, even though we only dated briefly in middle school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were a couple of times we almost dated for real in high school. The most poignant being when he had another girlfriend from a neighboring school in our district. It was the week leading up to the neighboring school\u2019s Winter Formal. Carl had a gf from the other school and I was going to the same dance with a friend of Carl’s girlfriend, who had a major crush on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, it\u2019s several days before the dance and I found myself at an Everwood viewing party with Carl. My guy friends and I used to get together every week to watch Everwood together. You know, because we were super emo<\/a> high school kids and Everwood had a lot of emotions. Anyways, at some point that night, Carl tells me that him and his girlfriend broke up. We ended up making out a bit and I left that night hoping something was finally happening between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Whoa Jlaw, I really loved Everwood<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Then came the dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just before the dance, at the girls\u2019 pre-dance getting ready party, I overhear his girlfriend saying, \u201cI think Carl is going to break up with me tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I wasn\u2019t an awkward teenager, I\u2019m sure I would\u2019ve been pissed. But instead, I felt dirty and as if I had helped him cheat on her. I had to go through the whole night, watching Carl and his girlfriend from afar, not wanting to give anything away because a lot of people\u2019s feelings were hanging in the balance. I kept my distance from everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carl eventually broke up with her\u2026 \u201cagain\u201d because, according to him, she didn\u2019t \u201cget it\u201d the first time. I was still skeptical so to convince me his feelings were real, he pulled a grand gesture and, truthfully, it is probably the cutest thing anyone has done for me to this day. He had made hundreds of little origami cranes, then he snuck into my car at lunch, and filled the car with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somehow his ex gf and I were hanging out later that day and somehow, she ended up getting a ride in my car. She obviously saw the cranes and freaked out. She straight up told me she\u2019d never be friends with me again if I dated him. Although she was upset, I told her I needed time to think about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Within a week, our mutual friends were telling me he would not be deterred. I heard through the grapevine that Carl had plans to sneak over to my window at the stroke of midnight on Valentine\u2019s Day. In my mind, this was way, way, way too scary. Having this guy who I like so much come to my bedroom on Valentine\u2019s Day wreaked of sexy times. And this closeted gay was not ready to have sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I did what I always do, and I wrote him a long letter pouring my heart out and tell him I was picking my friendship with his ex over him. He canceled his Valentine\u2019s Day plans and we stopped speaking. The whole situation even caused a big rift between Carl and my friends. It\u2019s not unfair to say that I ousted him from the friend group \u2013 something I apologized for years later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might be sitting there thinking: wait, I thought this\nwas a story about how Kim lost her virginity to a guy! That\u2019s what I was\npromised! What\u2019s this stupid high school drama I\u2019m reading about?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I\u2019m hoping the background explains some of how the rest of this happened:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It was 2009, after college, and I was living in Seattle in my second rental house. After a long afternoon of day drinking, I, randomly, invited Carl to come hang out with us even though I hadn\u2019t seen him in years. Since I\u2019d been day drinking, I was already hammered when we went to Pies and Pints that night. In my extremely drunken state, I decided I should follow Carl into the (disgusting) men\u2019s bathroom. We started hooking up in there, then eventually migrated to\u2026 the back alley. It was there that I lost my virginity to the man I had always assumed I would take it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, after years and years of waiting and being afraid, all\nit took was standing up from a barstool and going after it.  It wasn\u2019t about anyone \u201ctaking\u201d my virginity\nbut rather, I reached a point in life where I was willing to give it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And although it may seem like I should be embarrassed by\nthis hot mess of a tale, I\u2019m not. Before that day, I don\u2019t think I ever\nrealized how fraught my relationship with sex was. I wasn\u2019t just scared of\nhaving sex with a man, I feared sex period. Brushing it off that day was\nprobably one of the greatest things that could\u2019ve happened to me. That day\nstarted a long journey into accepting myself as a sexual being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Tune in next week when I finally have sex with a woman for\nthe first time! The tale is equally as ridiculous and embarrassing! <\/p>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tAlthough I’m super gay, I did actually lose my virginity to a man. He was my high school crush even though it took until after college for me to finally want to have sex with him. \t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[158,159,167,334,335,527,628,674],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/tenor.gif?fit=498%2C286&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1682"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1682\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}