{"id":609,"date":"2012-06-29T10:41:27","date_gmt":"2012-06-29T17:41:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=609"},"modified":"2012-06-29T10:41:27","modified_gmt":"2012-06-29T17:41:27","slug":"the-douchebag-jar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=609","title":{"rendered":"The Douchebag Jar"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_611\" style=\"width: 235px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douche.jpg\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-611\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-611\" title=\"douche\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douche-225x300.jpg?resize=225%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douche.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douche.jpg?w=720&amp;ssl=1 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-611\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Chugging a bottle of Dom? Douchebag<\/p><\/div>\n<p>We started a douchebag jar. Yes, we got the idea from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=oIrFhZe_dD4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">New Girl<\/a>. I&#8217;ll be honest and say it&#8217;s mainly for me but really, it is for anyone who acts like a total douche in our presence. It&#8217;s a way to help check yourself before you wreck yourself (*note: this is a douchebag worthy dollar comment). Our house hopes to create a pleasant atmosphere of fun.<\/p>\n<p>The concept is simple: say or act like a douche, put a dollar in the jar.<\/p>\n<p>What are some examples of this?<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m glad you asked!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I can be a cocky sonofabitch. Any comments where I announce proudly and unwarranted that <a title=\"Best Weekend of 2012 \u2013 Part 1\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/01\/09\/best-weekend-of-2012-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">I am the shit<\/a>, deserves a dollar.<\/li>\n<li>Derogatory, over-sexualized comments <a title=\"Jennifer Lawrence and the American Sex Symbol\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/04\/19\/jennifer-lawrence-and-the-american-sex-symbol\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">about women<\/a> count.<\/li>\n<li><a title=\"My 7 Point Flirtation Method\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/04\/06\/my-7-point-flirtation-method\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">This.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Pelvic thrusting the air is truly never acceptable. Neither is saying &#8220;suck it.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Bro secret handshakes: if it looks douchey, sounds douchey, then it probably is douchey. Mine, for instance, alludes to scissoring.<\/li>\n<li>Over exaggerated shit talking while <a title=\"Dayruit\" href=\"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/2012\/05\/14\/dayruit\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">playing Beirut<\/a> is an extremely common occurrence.<\/li>\n<li>I do something like, say, make three balls in a row on my first turn in a game of pool and I say something to the extent of, &#8220;Oh, I&#8217;m sorry, did you want to play too?&#8221; Before my fourth shot (which I will, inevitably miss).<\/li>\n<li>Offering a friend a ride home and then halfway through the journey asking them to get out of the vehicle and walk themselves the rest of the way all because you have to pee&#8230; Douchey. It wasn&#8217;t me, but it <em>truly<\/em> was a douchebag move.<\/li>\n<li>Making <a href=\"https:\/\/sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net\/hphotos-ash3\/576581_581595146982_1603065317_n.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this<\/a> your Facebook timeline photo. (Yes, that is my current one)<\/li>\n<li>Peer pressuring. Specifically when someone tells you that they are sick or tired and can&#8217;t go out and you scream &#8220;YOLO&#8221; in their face until they agree to drink with you. Then you promptly get drunk and ignore him or her all night.<\/li>\n<li>Any and all of my J\u00e4ger gear, which includes, but is not limited to: flip flops, five t-shirts, a trucker&#8217;s cap, several bandanas, a J\u00e4ger camping cooler, a J\u00e4ger bucket, several lanyards, and a black button up. In fact, I used a lot of this gear to dress as a douchebag for the costume contest at work last Halloween. In fact, I was one of the last two finalists for &#8220;funniest costume&#8221; and I turned to the other girl and said, &#8220;Thanks baby, that&#8217;s enough. Now bring the car around,&#8221; as I handed her my\u00a0J\u00e4ger lanyard for my keys. See the costume below.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_626\" style=\"width: 235px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douchebag.jpg\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-626\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-626\" title=\"douchebag\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douchebag-225x300.jpg?resize=225%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douchebag.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douchebag.jpg?w=768&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-626\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo of this douchebag Credit: Michelle Eggers<\/p><\/div>\n<p>These are just a few examples. The most recent dollar I put in was for this simple exchange while playing Halo:<\/p>\n<p>Emily: &#8220;What&#8217;s an over shield?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Me: &#8220;It&#8217;s a shield that goes over your shield.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>*Other Emily smacks me in the back of the head.*<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The jar is currently up to $34 and we have only had it for a <em>month<\/em>. When it reaches $100 or so, we are going to buy a douchebag sponsored keg. The keg party will\u00a0obviously be douchebag themed where everyone can dress up super douchey and act as douchey they want for one night only. Then we&#8217;ll start the process all over again.<\/p>\n<p>The actual keg buying celebration will be particularly sad for me because I&#8217;m <em>definitely<\/em> one of the top two contributors and I cannot drink beer. The other douchebags will be able to drink and be merry but not this kid.<\/p>\n<p>This is my punishment.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We started a douchebag jar. Yes, we got the idea from New Girl. I&#8217;ll be honest and say it&#8217;s mainly for me but really, it is for anyone who acts like a total douche in our presence. It&#8217;s a way to help check yourself before you wreck yourself (*note: this is a douchebag worthy dollar [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":611,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[41,67,146,186,225,343,347,447],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/douche.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=609"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/611"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}