{"id":664,"date":"2012-07-17T15:22:58","date_gmt":"2012-07-17T22:22:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=664"},"modified":"2012-07-17T15:22:58","modified_gmt":"2012-07-17T22:22:58","slug":"the-wheatfields-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=664","title":{"rendered":"The Wheatfields Story"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

This but with way less civilization<\/p><\/div>\n

I have told this particular story so many times, I figured I should go back to when it actually happened. This is taken from an e-mail I wrote on 1\/21\/07 titled “Funny Stories.” I should also note that this recipient never responded, probably because she was shaking her head at my stupidity.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thursday night, I decided I’d go to that Carlo Rossi party I told you\u00a0about. On the way to get the wine, Laura and Becka asked us to pick\u00a0them up Boone’s Farm. So I decided that Boone’s sounded like a really\u00a0good idea and got one for myself as well. So, I made my “special”\u00a0Boone’s which is where I drink it down to the label and fill it back\u00a0up with vodka and I topped it off with some peach schnapps. And, I had\u00a0a small half gallon bottle of Rossi. Well, it was actually 1.5 liters\u00a0of 10% alcohol by volume white wine Rossi. So I drank some Rossie\u00a0before T-sports and then after T-sports practice, Julie and I met back\u00a0up with Tyler and Greg and we all walked over to some\u00a0house which is behind Carpet Two. While there, I finish both of my\u00a0drinks. The result of which was that I blacked out. Tyler was supposed\u00a0to split his with Greg, but he ended up drinking most of their gallon\u00a0bottle and he obviously blacked out. I don’t remember anything about\u00a0leaving the party but evidently we were about to leave with Greg around 12:30, he went back inside to get someone and then when he came\u00a0back out, Tyler and I were gone. Next, there are only three distinct\u00a0things that I remember: Tyler and I climbing over the waist high\u00a0median of the highway, Tyler falling down in the snowy\u00a0wheatfields\u00a0and\u00a0me helping him up, and finally, us climbing over a barb wire fence.\u00a0The next thing that happened was that I “came to,” which basically\u00a0means I came out of being blackout drunk, at around 2am, in the middle\u00a0of the\u00a0wheatfields, which are snowy and cold. I realize that Tyler and\u00a0I are just walking. Just walking in the\u00a0wheatfields. It’s below 20\u00a0degrees out and slowly I realize there is no reason to be walking in\u00a0the\u00a0wheatfields\u00a0at two in the morning. I was kinda in the really drunk\u00a0panic mode. I look out and way off in the distance, I see a bunch of\u00a0lights and my first instinct is to just walk to the lights because\u00a0that must be the city. About a split second later, I realize that the\u00a0lights are actually the State Pen, so I keep looking out for something that\u00a0will tell me how to get home. Then I see way off in the distance off\u00a0to my left the 2nd ave freeway exit. You know, the one that comes out\u00a0by El Sombrero. So anyways, I call over to Tyler and tell him that’s\u00a0where we need to go. He just says no. I try to pull him in the right\u00a0direction but he shakes out of my grip and just starts walking off in\u00a0the other direction. I call after him but at this point, I feel like\u00a0there is nothing else I can do, so I turn and leave the\u00a0wheatfields. I\u00a0walked all the way out of the\u00a0fields\u00a0and come out at the end of 2nd\u00a0ave. I walk all the way down 2nd and the whole time I’m calling Laura\u00a0and Grace and \u00a0Meghan. They didn’t answer for a while but finally I\u00a0got a hold of Grace and ask her to come pick me up. I tell her that\u00a0I’m just going to keep walking and I’ll let her know where to meet me\u00a0when she finally finds a sober person to drive. By the time she picked\u00a0me up, I was out in front of Safeway. I called Tyler while I was in\u00a0the car and tried to convince him to walk into town. He tells me he\u00a0will and I ask him to call me back when he finds a point of reference.\u00a0Twenty minutes pass and I call him again to ask where he is. He can\u00a0only tell me that he’s at the railroad tracks. I tell him again to\u00a0walk towards town and find a point of reference. When I got back to\u00a0the projects, the boy I liked called and asked to come over to my house and\u00a0watch TV. And although I was blackout drunk 30 to 40 minutes earlier,\u00a0I thought it was a really really good idea and he came over. I put on\u00a0an episode of Dexter, a showtime show about a serial killer, which is\u00a0so setting the right mood, I know. Anyways, I pass out twenty minutes\u00a0in. Smooth move. He evidently passed out too and woke up at 4am and\u00a0left.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Tyler<\/a>

Tyler and I now… happy and healthy<\/p><\/div>\n

The next day, I wake up at 8:30 in the morning and I was just so scared for Tyler. I sort of realized\u00a0that i never spoke to him after that second call. I went over to\u00a0Julie’s house that day because we needed to watch a movie for our\u00a0advanced film class. Tyler comes out of his room in his boxers and\u00a0he’s just all sorts of torn up. He had lines of scratches on his\u00a0forehead, scratches on his back, on the top of his head, and he was\u00a0limping. Evidently he “came to” in the middle of an empty\u00a0field\u00a0at\u00a05am, no lights, no roads, no houses in sight. Just a snowy\u00a0field. He\u00a0described it as the scariest moment of his life. He lost his phone so\u00a0he couldn’t call anyone so he then just decided to try to find\u00a0civilization. At one point he said he curled up in the fetal position\u00a0on the ground to keep him warm. He contemplated sleeping there and\u00a0then realized that he would probably die and he got back up to walk\u00a0again. He walked for an hour before he found a trailer. He knocked on\u00a0the door and apologized for waking the guy up and asked him for a ride\u00a0back to town. The guy must’ve been a bit scared because Tyler was all\u00a0bloody and such. He returned home at 6am and had no idea how he ended\u00a0up in the\u00a0wheatfields\u00a0or why. I shed some light on things but we both\u00a0still don’t know why we decided to go out there. I felt really guilty\u00a0at first for leaving him, but he knows that I was really drunk and\u00a0that I tried to take him with me. I’ve been sore for the past two\u00a0days, and I have bruises up and down my legs, but I am definitely not\u00a0as bad as Tyler. We’ve moved beyond the whole thinking that we could\u00a0have died thing and we’ve moved right along to claiming the most\u00a0ridiculous drunk story ever told. We were telling people at my party\u00a0on Friday and they would just be speechless. No one can really answer\u00a0that story with anything. So Tyler and I normally finish with the fact\u00a0that we’ll never drink Rossi again.<\/em><\/p>\n

And that’s my amusing story. In other news, it iced over friday night\u00a0of my party. Jack came over unfortunately and wouldn’t leave\u00a0for a long time. He stumbled out and instantly ate shit outside. So\u00a0he’s just laying on my lawn and I just figure he’ll get up. When I\u00a0leave the house 5 minutes later, he’s still out there and is like\u00a0sleeping. So I kick him and tell him to wake up and he just says no. I\u00a0tell him to get up, he says no. This repeats about 5 or 6 times until\u00a0finally he opens his eyes and looks up at me and says, “Wetter!” I\u00a0then help him up and tell him to walk home and he stumbled off in the\u00a0distance.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

This was my life in college. To say I’ve toned down and gotten smarter is an understatement. Let’s just say I’m happy to no longer be in a place in my life where I think the above story is acceptable. Also, look, I’ve always been this verbose!\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have told this particular story so many times, I figured I should go back to when it actually happened. This is taken from an e-mail I wrote on 1\/21\/07 titled “Funny Stories.” I should also note that this recipient never responded, probably because she was shaking her head at my stupidity.   Thursday night, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":666,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[158,240,391,399,582,679,689],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/ww-wheatfields.jpg?fit=604%2C451&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=664"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}