{"id":889,"date":"2012-11-27T09:38:35","date_gmt":"2012-11-27T17:38:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=889"},"modified":"2012-11-27T09:38:35","modified_gmt":"2012-11-27T17:38:35","slug":"the-story-of-the-mystery-underwear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/?p=889","title":{"rendered":"The Story of the Mystery Underwear"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

No one would lose these bad boys<\/p><\/div>\n

Someone is going to kill me for writing this down but it’s time for a funny story, don’t you think?<\/p>\n

I was dating this girl a while back. We weren’t exclusive and we were both perfectly comfortable being commitment-phobes. But, as when you spend a large amount of time with anyone, feelings get involved. Inevitably, jealousy is going to happen because, lezbehonest, I don’t like to share.<\/p>\n

One morning when we were dating, she left my house without a pair of her underwear. She couldn’t find them and just left, figuring I’d find and return them eventually.<\/p>\n

I always assumed she was seeing other people and I knew I could<\/em> too if the situation presented itself. I think she always knew I wasn’t seeing anyone else because I’m not very good at keeping secrets. I would have never been able to juggle multiple women. But, it got to the point where I<\/em> couldn’t deal with the prospect of her<\/em> seeing other people, and yet I didn’t want her to be my girlfriend, so it was time to break things off. (I’m sorry to say that my irrational dating habits still really haven’t improved since all this)<\/p>\n

While doing laundry just before we ended things, I found a pair of white underwear in the load with my bedding. I informed her that I had found the ones she was missing.<\/p>\n

She came over one last time and I wanted to make sure she left with her knickers. I cheerfully handed them over and was greeted with a horrified response.<\/p>\n

They weren’t hers.<\/p>\n

I shrugged and informed her they must have been left in the dryer by one of my roommates and thought nothing of it. I knew I hadn’t been with another girl the entire time I dated her, so why worry? I was telling the truth.<\/p>\n

She clearly did not believe me.<\/p>\n

She was livid, as you can expect. Non-exclusive relationship or not, you still don’t want to be handed underwear belonging to someone’s “other lover.”<\/p>\n

But, I had no other lover.<\/p>\n

I even asked my roommates at the time if the underwear belonged to them. It did not. They shall forever remain a mystery in my life. A mystery that pissed someone off a whole hell of a lot.<\/p>\n

Whoops.<\/p>\n

Part of me looks back on it now and smiles. Not because I hurt her but because she always (correctly, mind you) assumed I was harmless. I would never date anyone else, even if I wasn’t “exclusive” with her. I was the dedicated one and she wasn’t. At least now she probably doesn’t think that. She’s probably thinking, “Kim Wetter, that player” – said no one ever<\/em>.\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Someone is going to kill me for writing this down but it’s time for a funny story, don’t you think? I was dating this girl a while back. We weren’t exclusive and we were both perfectly comfortable being commitment-phobes. But, as when you spend a large amount of time with anyone, feelings get involved. Inevitably, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"spay_email":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,211,225,269,312,327,374],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/kimwetter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/underwear.jpg?fit=612%2C612&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimwetter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}