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Unless you’re gay, it won’t. Hands down, without a doubt, your life won’t change at all. Doomsday won’t happen. Lesbians and gay men won’t “convert” your children. Absolutely, positively, nothing will happen to you or your life because of Governor Gregoire’s call to legalize gay marriage yesterday.
But let me tell you what it means to me:
It means that I have a chance to stand up in front of my friends and family and pronounce my love and devotion to someone and not have anyone look on that as a “wedding” (in sarcastic demeaning quotations). What Governor Gregoire did was stand up and say that I cannot be openly discriminated against because of who I love.
It comes down to two simple ideas of equality and the separation or church and state. You may believe I’m an abomination – that’s not the first time I’ve heard that. You, your church, and your religion have that right and may continue to deny me marriage if Governor Gregoire’s bill passes. You may believe whatever you want and you may deny me whatever you want – within your church. It is written in the constitution of the United States of America that your church and your state must remain separate. Although founded by religious men, they had the foresight to recognize they were escaping religious persecution in England and wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through the same thing here in America.
So when a matter of equality comes around, it’s difficult to judge how to really make things equal (tax argument anyone?). An easy way to see what is not equal would be to look at who is excluded. Who is left out? In the case of marriage, those excluded are the people of the LGBTQ community. In Washington, we get “everything but marriage” – a statement often used in our State that clearly exemplifies what we aren’t allowed.
As Gregoire pointed out, this is reminiscent of the separate but equal mentality that plagued our country in the past.
Even after all that political stuff, what Governor Gregoire really spoke of was love. If two people love one another, who are we to say their love is any less? As she said, the love amongst us can only do great things for this country. It will make us happier, more prosperous, united.
I may not have someone in my life right now, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still dream of that wedding day. The day where I love someone so much, I want to stand up in front of all of the important people in my life and vow to love and cherish that (lucky, to-be-determined) girl for the rest of my life. I dream of growing old with someone. I want to host dinner parties, celebrate anniversaries, comfort another in the face of tragedy, be someone’s rock.
And I will not love any more or any less because of Governor Gregoire’s stance on gay marriage. Nothing would or could change the love that I have (and will have) in my heart. What changes if this bill passes in Washington state is how that love and future commitment is treated by the state. I won’t have a “wedding” and a “marriage” in sarcastic quotes as if it is not real and legitimate to my life. I will have a marriage, period.
So I thank Governor Gregiore for her stance yesterday and I hope her vision of equal rights comes to fruition. My future family will thank her for recognizing that our love is no different than yours. We should not stifle each other’s love. We should embrace it and cherish it because there is far too little of it in the world.
So love as you would have loved and I will love as I would love. Except now, maybe we can give someone else the opportunity to feel as if their love is okay. Hopefully soon, no one will have to feel like their love is second-rate. Hopefully now, there can be more love. And what’s so bad about that?
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Yes, yes and yes. And many times we see the wedding as the end all be all but you know what else is important? Decisions on health care, insurance policies, parental rights...these are things that us heteros don't even think about when we get married! I'm sure the list is much longer! It really is about equality.