I thought long and hard about whether or not I should share part two of this weekend with the world. I figured I would share this shamelessly with almost anyone who would listen so I suppose it’s alright here. If you read my blog, you probably like me enough to forgive me for the following…

My Saturday afternoon was spent on the couch reliving the memories of my crazy company party night. It wasn’t until 5pm or so that I left to go pick up my car from West Seattle where I had left it. Since my friend Eric was kind enough to drive me all the way out there, I offered to take him to dinner. While doing a quick google search, I came across sushiwhore.com. Obviously we had to go.

It was to die for. Seriously, a foodgasm in its truest form (See the photo of Eric). I wasn’t able to have the creamy scallops due to my Celiac’s disease so I settled for a crab and scallop sashimi wrapped in prosciutto with an avocado slice on top. Heaven is made of that. I kid you not. Eric and I enjoyed ourselves so much that we made reservations to spend a friendship Valentine’s Day together. Needless to say, we’re both actually pumped for February 14th this year.

The night had started perfectly. We left West Seattle and picked up two of my friends for a night out on Capitol Hill. I’m not a fan of the main lesbian bar in Seattle but my friends had never been so after a quick prefunk, we were off to the Rose. I decided the tie thing looked awesome on Friday so I switched up a pantsuit for jeans, chucks, the blazer and tie. I know I looked dapper as shit.

I ran into a couple people I knew and my night was off and running (picture included below). So much so that I didn’t buy myself a single drink while there. But that also meant I got very, very drunk. I was going to go home with one friend but had the cab pull over on the side of Denny so that I could make my way back to the gay bars on the Hill. A poor life choice indeed. Mom, if you’re reading this, stop here.

I went to R Place in an attempt to do a bit of dancing but things get very hazy. All of R Place was hazy. Then, I vividly remember trying to call the friends I was out with after R Place had closed to try to cab home with one of them. That was unsuccessful so I made my way to Eric’s house where our friend Chris had been vomiting up his evening. By the time I arrived, he had just passed out on the futon and was just making fish guppy noises every so often. It was there that a 42 year old cougar woman-handled me into making out with her. Let me be clear: I was trying to hard to run away. I eventually did but not before being made out with as I tried to clench and hide my face. Eric was also attacked by her before and after I left. There goes our dinner epiphany that we hadn’t made out with the same girl. I promise you all that in the state I was in, I did the best I could to deflect the advances of the cougar, but she was just so scary. I’ve done a lot of things in my life, but I can honestly say this one was not my fault.

My awesome cab driver JD picked me up and saved me from that mess. He also tried to give me a free ride home but he’s done me and my friends way too many favors so I paid him. Plus, he had to hear me laugh hysterically about how I had just tried to run away from a very attractive but aggressive cougar. I owed the man.

(I should stop here to mention that wasn’t the first cougar in my life. In fact, the other one is in the photo from the Wildrose that night. To be fair to her and our situation though, I was definitely pursing her most of the time. She might be older than me but she is hot. She currently has a girlfriend and we spent the entire evening hanging out as friends. I’m sure she’d be happy to know she’s no longer the cougar in my life. What can I say? Cougars love me. I think it’s because they are old and wise enough to recognize I’m a catch.)

The next morning, I meandered through the many phone calls and text messages of the previous night’s debauchery. I came across a phone number that I got at 1:55am. I do not remember getting a phone number. On a whim and with a little encouragement from a table full of friends and a brunch mimosa, I texted the random number unsure of what I’d get.

It did turn out to be a girl. She, also, doesn’t remember meeting me or my name or what I looked like. So we exchanged names and photos and let me tell you, she is hot. We had a lovely back and forth conversation where I established that she is, indeed, gay and it seemed fairly flirtatious. If I do manage to go on a date with her, I would have had to thank wasted me for probably the first time in my life. I wish I could give wasted me a high five for pulling the number in the first place. I will probably attempt something of the sort the next time I find myself drunk. People will look on as I repeated slap my own hand and possibly pump my fist. If we don’t end up hanging out, wasted me still gets an honorable mention.

After Sunday brunch, I spent all day at Eric’s house playing Settlers of Catan with him and Chris, eating bacon and Chinese food, drinking mimosas and watching movies. You know it’s going to be a good Sunday when Chris says, “Winner gets the last piece of bacon.” Then, I upgrade him to: “Winner gets to give out a shot.” Then Eric upgrades me to: “Winner gets to give out a tequila shot!” Obviously everyone was in agreement. Chris won twice and I took two tequila shots. Go figure. And yes, it was a Sunday. We really really had a great weekend together. 2011 kicked my ass but 2012 is light and fun and turning out to be a great year thus far. Let’s hope this streak continues!