Why? Look Left.

 

No, but for real, I’ve had a weird obsession with Twilight for some time. I’ve read all four books, I own the first three movies, I used to write about the series for my old job (I did plenty of other things too, don’t worry). And the whole time I am totally aware that Bella is a worthless female character, Edward is creepy, and Stephenie Meyer is a weird Mormon who relishes in abstinence and suffering. The books aren’t written well and I cannot honestly describe to you why you should like them. But I do.

Those that know me can tell you right away why I like them. I know why I like them. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ll argue with you for hours about whether or not “love at first sight” exists. Have I ever experience this “love at first sight” phenomenon or do I know someone who has? No. Irrelevant! It exists. Period. True love, “the one,” etc – ALL of that. I straight up believe it all.

And, at the core of it, that’s really what Twilight is about (if you take out the Mormon core first, that is). Edward and Bella forever and shit. I love it all.

 

What’s weird about this obsession is that I’m not crazy obsessed with the characters or their love. It’s called “shipping” characters. The relationship is the “ship” that you love and champion. I don’t ship Edward and Bella or anyone in the Twilight series. So, it’s like I love it all for the idea but not much more.

Breaking Dawn is by far the worst of them all. Not only is there some domestic violence where Edward hella bruises Bella during their first sexual encounter, but there is also a vampire Caesarean section. I could keep going because there are a lot of problems with Breaking Dawn. It’s terrible. Absolutely positively terrible and I have a high tolerance for this nonsense. (side note:  I guess this might prove that the audience stops caring about the romance as soon as it’s determined that the main characters are together for good. This is a point I will probably argue for and against in later blog posts.)

But give me Kristen Stewart in a bikini and I’m there. My old obsession with Twilight won’t let me not go.

 

If you are curious about my extreme obsession days, here are some quality links for your enjoyment:

• I once wrote an entire article defending Kristen Stewart because she got a lot of shit for being surly and awkward.
• I recapped Twilight with a couple of friends. I played the role of supportive fan. They played the role of being funny.
• I once made a video speculating the non-existent lesbian romance between Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed. (I just found out that YouTube has blocked this video because of the song I used so you can’t watch it but a Twilight blog did write about it and that serves as the second funniest thing in this particular situation)
• One of my favorite pieces of writing was actually my review of Twilight. Beware because it’s a positive review.

I hope you enjoyed all that.