Let’s fully examine my nerdiness once again. This week, for work, I am at a conference in downtown Seattle. The conference is called MozCon and it’s one of the biggest conferences in the search engine optimization community.

What does that mean? Just around 800 nerds packed in one conference room complaining about the lack of Internet.

Something went wrong with the wireless and no one in the conference room could connect to the Internet. So 800 Internet-less laptops and 800 pissed off nerds. What good is my laptop without Internet? This is just some goddamn note pad.

Luckily, as if to add insult to injury, our gracious hosts provided a nice notepad and pen as our “swag.” Yeah, like I’m gonna use one of those!

Seriously, I bring a notepad into every work meeting with me and take zero notes. I’m not even sure I know how to write with a pen anymore. This is only partially why my writing is completely illegible. The main reason, I’ve deduced in hours of contemplating my strengths and weaknesses, is because I moved from California to Washington when I was in the third grade. Third grade happens to be the grade where you learn cursive, or in Washington’s case, “Duvall.” My poor third grade self learned half the alphabet in cursive and half in “Duvall” and little me decided to say “fuck it” and quit trying to make my scribbles legible. The odds were really stacked against me. Not my fault.

But, let’s be honest, had I had the Internet, I would have just used it to look up the recent news on the Robsten breakup. I enjoy Twilight and enjoy making fun of it so hard and enjoy looking at Kristen Stewart. Therefore, this breakup was my heyday but without Internet, how was I to keep up? Other than, of course, the 3-4 people who texted me the news as soon as they heard, probably because I’m the only person they know who would care.

These are not real problems. But I’m so attached to my wi-fi, 3G, gchat, etc that I forgot what it felt like to go without. I actually paid attention to the presentations. I actually learned things. I actually came up with (what I thought were) pretty good ideas.

So maybe it’s time to go all Jesus Camp on this SEO conference and feel the passion of the Christ… or Rand Fishkin. Whatever.

Special note: According to some of the presenters, Google would consider my blog spam because it has no interactions. Normal blogs are supposed to have a “community” or something. So feel free to comment below with the part of this post you want to make fun of me about the most. Is it the title? Is it my love of Kristen Stewart? Is it my ability to blame things other than myself for my shortcomings? Let me have it. That way, Google will think Kim Wetter is real.

This was me but like WAY less scary