A New Start

On September 19, 2018 by Kim

Hello world, welcome me back! After a brief hiatus in couple-dom, I am back and am ready to serve up all the juicy updates. For those of you that actually clicked on the link and are here, I assume you want a quick rundown of what happened in the last four years. So here it goes…

ANUSTART License plate



First, if you can’t already tell, the girl from Blacked Out Kim Has Moves and I have officially parted ways after 4 years of dating and 3 years of living together. Let me say, it’s not fun untangling your life from someone else’s. Out of respect for her privacy, I won’t dig into the details here but I will say that I’m happy with the decision in the end. We were yin and yang, but not in a good (read: passionate) way.

The best thing that has come out of this so far is that I can write again. I had stopped blogging because it made her uncomfortable to read about my crazy life antics, of which, I still have lots to share. And, lezbehonest I didn’t make very many crazy memories in the last 4 years that were worth writing to the internet about. Lesbian relationships are hella boring but I did get a dog so you can have plenty of pictures of her!

Panda the Dog

She reminds me of Dobby the House Elf


I am skinny again! I have lost 50+ pounds since March. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it on purpose or even work out. Who works out? Nope, I did what I did before and went and got myself another auto-immune disease!

I’m still figuring out how to live with Lymphocytic Colitis. But, if you are curious, no, I can’t really drink with two auto-immune diseases. When I do, it’s always tequila.

You can't say no to tequila

I can’t!


I work in the marijuana industry now! That’s right, screw television, I’m gunning for that weed money! One day, I will meet Snoop Dogg. I have already smoked a joint with Seth Rogen so I’m on my way to clearing my “People I want to smoke with” laminated list. One day…

Seth Rogen, James Franco, Tommy Wiseau, etc

Crappy photo but the Premiere of the Disaster Artist, aka the night I smoked with Seth Rogen

The Long and the Short

I’m about to tear up Seattle as I have a new job, new “hot” body, new relationship status, and a new stomach disease to boot! If I was Regina George, y’all would be doing an awful job of taking me down.

How to take down Regina George

Now I need an Army of Skanks!

Things to look out for in the coming weeks:

1. None of my clothes currently fit me so I will need to eventually go shopping. I will find a way to turn this into a makeover show somehow.
2. I have rejoined OKCupid and Tinder. Can’t wait to share the shit that happens on those dates.
3. I will probably rant and rave about New Seattle (too real, iZombie, too real) and politics in general. What a shitshow these last couple years without me have been, huh?

You won’t be hearing stories of my illness. Unless you like stories about poop – then you can hit me up in my DMs!

That is one big pile of shit


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