A New Start
Hello world, welcome me back! After a brief hiatus in couple-dom, I am back and am ready to serve up all the juicy updates. For those of you that actually clicked on the link and are here, I assume you want a quick rundown of what happened in the last four years. So here it goes…
![ANUSTART License plate](https://i1.wp.com/kimwetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/anustart-arresteddevelopment-300x164.jpg?resize=300%2C164)
A NEW START!
Dating
First, if you can’t already tell, the girl from Blacked Out Kim Has Moves and I have officially parted ways after 4 years of dating and 3 years of living together. Let me say, it’s not fun untangling your life from someone else’s. Out of respect for her privacy, I won’t dig into the details here but I will say that I’m happy with the decision in the end. We were yin and yang, but not in a good (read: passionate) way.
The best thing that has come out of this so far is that I can write again. I had stopped blogging because it made her uncomfortable to read about my crazy life antics, of which, I still have lots to share. And, lezbehonest I didn’t make very many crazy memories in the last 4 years that were worth writing to the internet about. Lesbian relationships are hella boring but I did get a dog so you can have plenty of pictures of her!
Health
I am skinny again! I have lost 50+ pounds since March. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it on purpose or even work out. Who works out? Nope, I did what I did before and went and got myself another auto-immune disease!
I’m still figuring out how to live with Lymphocytic Colitis. But, if you are curious, no, I can’t really drink with two auto-immune diseases. When I do, it’s always tequila.
![You can't say no to tequila](https://i2.wp.com/i.pinimg.com/originals/c2/29/3d/c2293dd587829b652197a3bf11dbd73d.gif?resize=500%2C200&ssl=1)
I can’t!
Job
I work in the marijuana industry now! That’s right, screw television, I’m gunning for that weed money! One day, I will meet Snoop Dogg. I have already smoked a joint with Seth Rogen so I’m on my way to clearing my “People I want to smoke with” laminated list. One day…
![Seth Rogen, James Franco, Tommy Wiseau, etc](https://i1.wp.com/kimwetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Image-from-iOS-3-300x216.jpg?resize=300%2C216)
Crappy photo but the Premiere of the Disaster Artist, aka the night I smoked with Seth Rogen
The Long and the Short
I’m about to tear up Seattle as I have a new job, new “hot” body, new relationship status, and a new stomach disease to boot! If I was Regina George, y’all would be doing an awful job of taking me down.
![How to take down Regina George](https://drnicksfilmclinic.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/mean-2.png?resize=560%2C296)
Now I need an Army of Skanks!
Things to look out for in the coming weeks:
1. None of my clothes currently fit me so I will need to eventually go shopping. I will find a way to turn this into a makeover show somehow.
2. I have rejoined OKCupid and Tinder. Can’t wait to share the shit that happens on those dates.
3. I will probably rant and rave about New Seattle (too real, iZombie, too real) and politics in general. What a shitshow these last couple years without me have been, huh?
You won’t be hearing stories of my illness. Unless you like stories about poop – then you can hit me up in my DMs!
![That is one big pile of shit](https://i0.wp.com/thumbs.gfycat.com/MildFoolishBackswimmer-size_restricted.gif?resize=455%2C250&ssl=1)
DINO DNA!
OMG, I forgot how incredibly real and funny you are! THE BESTEST!!
via GIPHY