Kim Wetter

Burning Ram

Burning Ram was heaven.

If you’ve never stuffed 20+ of your closest friends in a cabin out in the middle of nowhere for a weekend in celebration of 5 birthdays, you are missing out.

Sure, you might end up sleeping on the floor or in cramped quarters, but it’s all worth it.

Fireball was aplenty. A friend drove up from Eugene to surprise me. And since I’m not the best with birthdays and presents, the effort people made to come spend time with me was worth a million presents.

Friday was notable because of temporary tattoos. A friend gave me a present of a ton of temporary tats. And I LOVE temporary tats. Of course I attempted to give myself a sleeve, gave everyone who would take one a tramp stamp and got a super sweet band on my left arm. I was looking legit. We all were.

The next day, some people had to leave and more shuffled in. It was a glorious sunny day on the beach. We had clams dug by the morning risers (not me). We drank and we were merry. Gay, you could say.

Boys started taking off their shirts and I started getting jealous. No joke, I love being shirtless. I still remember the day my mom pulled me aside as a child and told me I couldn’t run around outside without my shirt on anymore. I loved it that much.

Luckily, I had brought my bathing suit top with me. Same same.

I was looking awesome shirtless with tats everywhere so we decided to up the ante and give me cornrows. Obviously, I was drunk, but I think cornrows are a good idea when I’m sober too!

I had to be given a placebo drink by a friend though, just in case. He gave me “Gatorade and vodka” minus the vodka.

This sobered me up enough to realize I should slow my roll. That is a perfect time to put on a backpack I call Freedom. I fill Freedom with booze and then walk him around and demand people partake in Freedom.

You can’t say no to Freedom. It’d be un-American.

Plus, it is a great way to spend time sobering up, while also getting others drunker.

We built a Ram in the fire pit and burned it down. Glory was had.

The next day, a couple of us took our time getting back. We ate clams and oysters and had fun in the sun.

I was sick for three days upon my return. Looks like Burning Ram was too much for my immune system. But it was totally worth it.