Kim Wetter

How to Get Over a Broken Heart

For those of you expecting a funny post, turn back now. Although I am never devoid of humor, this one is going to teeter on the edge of too much emotional information. For the rest of you brave souls, read onward.

As many of you know, either from knowing me or from me alluding to the fact, my ex-girlfriend broke my heart. We dated for roughly ten months and she cheated on me for the last two and a half. It was my first relationship with a girl and I fell head over heels in love. So, of course, when it came to light that she had been cheating, rather consistently and deliberately for so long, I was crushed.

It took me a long time to navigate the person I thought she was and the person she actually was. For all intents and purposes, she sucks.

My plight is no different, better or worse, from anyone else’s. No matter how it goes down, hearts get broken and you find yourself asking, “When will this end? When will I be over this?”

Last Friday, I got the dreaded “I miss you” text from my horrid ex. It’s a true test of where you are in terms of healing. I’m ashamed to admit that, despite the fact that we broke up at the end of last March, had that text come as late as January of this year, I probably would have responded. And I probably would have responded favorably. I missed that feeling. I missed the person I thought she was. I wasn’t over it.

But, luckily for me, this text came this Friday. And I did not respond. The response I would’ve sent would have been something like “Of course you miss me, I’m awesome. You’re not. So fuck off.” But, I know better. I know any response is a good response. Any response keeps the saga moving.

But it’s over. And let me tell you why:

People always told me the easiest way to get over a broken heart is to find someone new. In time, you find someone new and they make you forget your heartache. It didn’t happen to me like that.

Want to know how to get over someone breaking your heart? Have someone else break it again.

In May, I lost a dear friendship. She was one of those friends that snuck up on me. We started as acquaintances and somehow, she became a person I couldn’t see my future without.  I won’t talk about how the friendship ended or that it still makes me angry, because really, that anger doesn’t matter. I can be as angry as I want, but at the end of the day, I still don’t have my friend. At the end of the day, she still wants nothing to do with me. At the end of the day, I lost her.

What’s important about this particular situation is that it put everything in perspective for me. Sure, I thought my ex and I were going to be together forever but even as I struggled to get over her, I didn’t want her in my life.

Whereas, this friend I still cherish. This friend I still admire. This friend I still care about. This friend I truly wish could be in my life.

When you let yourself trust someone, in whatever light, and trust that they will always be around, it’s going to hurt like hell when you lose them. And I think we both felt the same way. In fact, we had conversations about it. It was a non-romantic breakup in the truest sense.

I don’t even know if she laments the loss as much as I do. She might still only feel that anger of our disagreement. But I do know we won’t be friends again. Our friendship is over and I can say, I truly feel heartbroken.

But somehow this seems like a worthy heartache. She’s worthy of missing.

You have some truly wonderful people in your life. Some amazing, amazing people. Take a look at them and recognize their impact on your life and cherish them. I will miss my friend but the experience taught me to live in the now. Invest in those who are worthy of investing in and who invest in you. Treat them right and make sure they treat you right. Great connections are hard to come by and trust is never easy… But you push onward or else you might miss out someone else grand.